Tiffany Rosalie @divinedripjewelry
My mother suckered my father into marrying her. My mother wanted to travel the world. My father wanted a family. She had an IUD for many years (only one of her friends knew and told me when I was an adult) and until he threatened to leave her if they didn’t have a child … she then magically became pregnant with me after convincing him for years it was his fault.
She never wanted me and that was apparent from the get go. She “didn’t know” she was pregnant until she was 6 months along, her water broke and she waited a few days to go to the hospital. I was born with an infection and the story goes I needed an IV and was in ICU. Isolation from the start. Then when I was three weeks old, she went back to work “There was nothing for me to do with you, you were fed and washed early and so I went back to work and dropped you at my mother’s.” Which honestly was probably the best thing, less time for her to abuse/neglect me. So the mother wound, from the start.
The first time she hit me, I was 2. I was still in diapers and wanted juice, I spilled it, so she saw me trying to sneak to get paper towels to clean it up. She took me in my bedroom, took my diaper off and beat me. I don’t remember much from my childhood. Even when I look at photos of myself, I can barely look my child self in my eyes.
A life of abuse that would vascilate between neglect or screaming, verbal abuse from being told I was a mistake, should have been an abortion, I was a dead albatross around her neck, stupid, fat, never amount to anything, an embarassment, etc. She would take photos of me in the bathtub and would make fun of me that I was thinking about my favorite celebrity. She would beat me then tell me to wait till my father got home. He was a carpenter so he was really strong and I hated when he would hit me. He would use this solid triangular wooden ruler that we had. I would scream. Being beaten for any and all reasons. I didn’t get 100 or I got 100 and I didn’t get the bonus right. Nothing I did was ever enough.
Throwing anything she had near her at me, the cordless phone, the wooden spoon, a show, pulling my hair, ripping down my New Kids on the Block posters down. She hit me until I turned 18, I raised my hands back to her and bruised her, “look at what you did to me.” Yes.. Yes I did. I used to look at her laying on the couch and fantasize about killing her. Hurting her like she hurt me. If I knew God would forgive me, I would have done it. I was too scared for God to be mad. She used to have portraits painted of me because I was her property. She would dress me up and parade me around only to make herself look good. Buying me expensive dolls I never wanted or could even play with only for them to sit on the shelves and stare at me.
When I would get sick, which was about once or twice a year she did not take care of me. My father would bring me tea and they would still send me to school for my perfect attendance award. One I got yearly till my senior year of HS and then I had to be home since my grandmother died.
Two weeks before I got married because she didn’t like the seating arrangements I came up with so she threatened to hit me. I said feel free and I’ll call the cops. My father sat right there and witnessed it. I cannot recall if he said anything.
Once I was pregnant, my husband really started to see it and he was shocked. He saw us fighting previously through the years but he chalked it up to mother/daughter relationships. During and after my pregnancy she continued to verbally abuse me and tried to again steal the spotlight. Narc 101. Every decision I made she criticized. At my shower, which she didn’t want to pay for because she said it was asking for presents, she came in late, sat in the middle, front and center. I had to sit in the back.
When my daughter was born and we had the Christening, she pulled the same shit. She went to the restaurant and sat right in front, where my husband and I should have been with our daughter, instead we sat in the back.
I had been floundering in the new age and my life was falling apart even though I didn’t realize it was. my childhood best friend died in January of 2019, then my other friend was diagnosed with cancer and my dog died... My mother was diagnosed with cancer and then seemingly the world came to a halt with the scam. I kept losing people around me two more friends passed within weeks of the world shutting down, they were dying and I didn’t get it. I just kept thinking God must think I have the strongest shoulders to go through all of this. I stood on the Jersey shore in February of 2020 and I prayed to the Blessed Mother to use me for Her will. I used to tell my husband I craved a life where I could be the person to the outside world that I was at home.
I know things got crazier after that and then at some point, I found Liana Shanti. And once I started to see everything she posted on IG, it started to make sense. Reiki was dark, IET and other things I had been doing were dark and that is why things were happening the way they were. I started to follow on FB too and I really just felt better. Slowly I started to collect and go through all the programs one by one and I knew I needed way more. I knew things were shifting. I was not as short with my daughter or husband, I was looking at things differently, I started to feel better spiritually. I prayed more, I was able to forgive my mother for what she did before she died.
I was still angry, but I was able to forgive her with a clear heart. Mother Wound, Father Wound, Awakening Ancient Gifts, Healing Narcissistic Relationships, Illuminations, Free Womb Healing, Stress Meditation, Abundance Seminar, Lifepath Manifesting, Light Body Activation, Full and New Moon Manifesting, and then I went into the health programs….
I took the next step and started on the physical healing path on August 9, 2021 with the Heal Candida Now program. I lost a ton of weight. I stopped eating meat, went plant based and I made the most sovereign decision of my life thanks to Liana, which helped to save my soul. One year can make a radical difference. I have healed even deeper than the surface healing that happened in the first round of all of the programs.
Last December we went into contract on our home in NY. I was in a very dark place, and I knew the darkness was coming at me, but I was still not connecting the dots. I was driving and I really seriously considered driving my car off the road and ending it all. At that moment, I had Illuminations playing and Liana said something to the effect of that she and Jesus see our worth as perfect and at 100% all the time. This amazing human (who I truly think is an angel) who I found on the internet who connected me back to Jesus… sees me in my perfect form all the time.
How lucky am I? To be in her community to have found her to even have the knowledge that she shares to help me live the best life I can even possibly imagine. She saved my soul and my physical life that day. I can never ever thank her enough for what she teaches, shows, embodies and shares with the world. Unconditional love, which we never had and when you finally are in contact with it.. How do you react? You freak the f out.
We sold our home, moved to Florida, found our dream home and are putting in a pool. With her guidance I am stepping into my life’s purpose and living in integrity, things that were only dreams.
She teaches you to break out of the cults, the programming from when you are a child, the authoritarian bullshit, to figure what beliefs you have so you can stand firm in them. To feel into who you are as a person … to realize you like pajama pants rather than nightgowns… to get in touch with your inner children to let them talk to you and show you who they and you ARE not who you were molded into. The true Tiffany. The soul that I am and who I am meant to be and how I am meant to serve Jesus. To bring my gifts forth and share them with the world to be IN SERVICE to humanity because that is why I am here. To heal and to be in service.
I just had a dream last two nights ago where I was speaking to her and I told her that I never ever want to be separated from Jesus. The teachings she shares about Jesus, the Real Jesus are so beautiful and wonderful and empowering. I am beyond blessed to be in this community and the life proof I have is just the beginning.
Thank you, Liana Robert, for everything you do. Words seem so tiny compared to what I feel in my heart!